We decided to go a totally different direction this time, eschewing our usual numismatic pun-tathlon in favor of this direct "Hey check this out, this Fugio looks waaaaay better than most of the ones the other guys are selling" approach. Because it does, displaying lovely, original chocolate brown color, smooth, hard surfaces and the kind of exceptional eye appeal we always seek for coins on the site. Seriously - go look.
Captions that didn't make the cut:
We actually had quite a few this time which might have been better than the one we used, starting with the trumpeteering "Insist on Only the Finest Chocolate.", which I think we rejected only because it seemed more suitable for one of our gem mint state coins.
So we then moved on to "Hot Chocolate." which in retrospect was punchy and concise as all get out.
So I really don't know why we continued on to "Don't let its perfect color distract you from the fact that it has no flaws.", which is definitely a mouthful, but also oddly endearing in this author's view and the kind of awkward sentence that would likely have had CW subscribers reading it multiple times to decipher (always a good thing from our perspective).